To Get to Your Time
by Chrysolite Heart
Summary: To what extent will Sess go to to find out about Kags time when Kag lets it slip that she's from a different time? Simply a humerous story to read for a laugh if you've got a little extra time. R&R plz! Chpt.3 up!
1. Chapter 1

To Get to Your Time

Chrysolite Heart

Ok, well first of all, there's no real pairing in this. The two main characters are basically Sesshomaru and Kagome though. This is all basically just humor on what extent Sesshomaru will go to to find out about Kagome's time. The idea just came to me as I was walking home the other day from school and I thought it was funny so this is all really just for a laugh. If you have extra time take the time to read it. Now then, on with it! Enjoy!

"It looks like it's going to rain," Kagome observed as she looked up at the quickly clouding sky.

"So? What's a little rain going to do to you?" Inuyasha demanded.

"Well, we could catch a cold," Miroku stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. (Actually, it kinda is the most obvious thing in the world…LOL)

"Feh, you weak humans are so annoying," Inuyasha complained.

"Inuyasha…" Kagome began to say warningly. Inuyasha knew if he kept up the attitude he was going to get a big "sit" so he shut up and instead said.

"Well, it is going to rain and I see a cave up ahead, we can stay there until the storm passes," he muttered.

"Where?" Shippou demanded, leaping up into Kagome's arms.

"Right there," Kagome said, pointing the large cave out in the distance.

"How do we know there's nothing in there though?" Sango asked.

"Because I'd be able to smell it," Inuyasha replied.

"He has a point," Miroku pitched in. Sango shot him a death glare before sighing.

"Alright, let's go," she decided and the group trudged onward towards the cave as lightening began to fill the sky.

Meanwhile…

"Sesshomaru-sama, look it might rain soon!" Rin wailed as she pointed up at the cloudy sky. Sesshomaru's face remained masked.

"Would you like to stay out of the rain?" he asked the little girl. Rin nodded.

"Rin doesn't like the rain very much," she told him.

"Silly girl, as if Sesshomaru-sama would stop just for you!" Jaken yelled at the girl. Rin's eyes filled with tears.

"Jaken," Sesshomaru said the little frog demon's name.

"Um, yes milord?" he asked.

"Shut-up,"

"Yes, of course milord!" Rin's face broke into a smile again and she quickly skipped after her lord Sesshomaru.

"Wait for me!" she called. Sesshomaru pointed out a cave in the distance.

"That is where we will stay until the storm passes," Sesshomaru decided.

"Good choice milord," Jaken complimented, beaming.

"It was the only choice," Sesshomaru told him.

"Oh, yes of course," Jaken agreed, sighing. Sesshomaru paid him no attention and they start heading towards the cave in the distance.

Thunder clapped loudly and Kagome winced as she set up the fire.

"See, aren't you glad we decided to stay in this cave?" Kagome asked Inuyasha who didn't reply.

"Yeah, whatever," he muttered.

"Kagome, this is amazing, what is it?" Sango asked, watching in wonder as Kagome pulled out a lighter from her bag and made the fire from the wood they had found already in the cave.

"It's called a lighter," Kagome explained.

"Another device from your time?" Miroku inquired.

"Yes, it's from my time," Kagome answered.

"From your time?" a voice asked and several heads turned to look at the figure that was now entering the cave.

"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha growled.

"I have no interest in playing any sword games with you today, so don't cause me any trouble," Sesshomaru told his little half-brother.

"Huh!" Inuyasha said, turning away.

"Rin, go sit by the fire," Sesshomaru commanded at the little girl who was peaking at the large group of people from behind Sesshomaru. She smiled up at Sesshomaru and replied.

"Yes, Sesshomaru-sama!" and quickly took a seat beside Kagome. Sesshomaru also took a seat, a little bit farther away from the group of humans and the little kistune who sat with Kagome before asking.

"So, tell this Sesshomaru-sama about your time," he ordered to Kagome. Kagome gulped.

"Oh, did I say time? I meant…um place!" Kagome chirped, blushing red. It was obvious what everyone was thinking around her. _Kagome is a horrible liar…_

"Oh, really?" Sesshomaru asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes!" Kagome replied.

"This Sesshomaru would like to ask questions about this _place_ Kagome comes from," Sesshomaru stated. Kagome gulped.

"Um, sure! Ask me anything you want," Kagome said nervously. _Oh boy…_

"What does your place look like?"

"Well there are buildings and…"

"What are buildings?"

"They're um…"

"What do your people dress like?"

"Well we all dress differently but there are lots of people who dress the way I'm dressed now," Kagome answered.

"Lots?"

"Yes, very many," Kagome replied cheerfully.

"Does it not bother anyone that the way you dress is no different than not wearing anything at all?" Sesshomaru asked. (No, that was no sort of flame to Kagome in case anyone wanted to know. I just thought it would be a humorous question so don't get me wrong) Kagome blushed again as she realized that the way she was dressed didn't exactly match the way everyone else was dressed.

"Well, it's normal in my ti—I mean place," Kagome responded quickly.

"But you are no longer in the place you come from, so why do you not dress like everyone else?"

"It gives me a sense of individuality, that's all!" Kagome declared.

"How do you get to your place?" Sesshomaru inquired. Kagome gulped again and felt her sweat drop.

"Um, it's a very long process…" she began to lie.

"You must show this Sesshomaru," he ordered.

"Um, maybe some other time," she suggested, chuckling nervously.

Sesshomaru continued to ask questions until the storm finally passed and the two groups separated to go their own ways, but Sesshomaru wasn't through with Kagome's "place" discovering yet. He silently followed Inuyasha and his gang for several days, undetected. They eventually led him back to a small village and the bone-eater's well. He watched from the bushes as Kagome waved good-bye and jumped into the well. He was about to come out from his hiding spot when something the monk said caught his attention.

"Well, Kagome's off to her own time again," Miroku sighed.

"Yes, I wonder when she'll be back this time," Sango wondered.

"Feh, if she doesn't get back I'll get her. No need to worry," Inuyasha replied.

"You're so lucky you can get through to Kagome's time, I want to go to Kagome's time!" Shippou complained.

"Too bad brat," Inuyasha responded.

"Well, shall we go back to the village now?" Miroku suggested.

"Yes, there's no point in staying here," Sango agreed. Kirara also meowed in agreement.

"Fine, sounds good to me," Inuyasha decided and the troop marched back to Kaede's village. When Sesshomaru was sure they were gone he stepped out of his hiding place and walked towards the well. He had seen Kagome jump into it yet when he looked down the well there was no trace of Kagome anywhere.

"To her own time, huh?" Sesshomaru said, repeating the earlier conversation he had just overheard. He thought about it for only a moment when he realized that Kagome must travel through the well to reach her own time. Which was likely why the aura of time around her is so different from other people, he continued to think. _This is very interesting…and only Inuyasha seems to have the power to pass through the well. Well, if Inuyasha can pass through it then I can too,_ Sesshomaru decided. He made his decision then and there. He leaped into the well with a sounding "heeyah!"

From Kaede's village, Inuyasha's sensitive ears picked up onto the sound of Sesshomaru's yelling voice but thought nothing of it.

Sesshomaru landed with a thud at the bottom of the well. Nothing happened. He saw Rin and Jaken look down at him from the top of the well.

"Sesshomaru-sama, are you alright?" Rin asked worriedly. Sesshomaru looked down at the dirt beneath his feet that Kagome had somehow managed to pass through. He didn't reply.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" came Jaken's squeaky annoying little voice next. He dusted himself off and jumped out of the well.

"I'm fine," he grunted. And with that he strode away. _I wasn't really all that interested anyway…_

A/N

LOL, well it didn't exactly turn out as funny as I wanted it too but I still thought it was amusing. Let me know what you guys thought. And that comment about Kagome was not a flame or anything; I just thought it would make the story a little more humorous. R&R plz! I'd love to hear…read some feedback on this.


	2. Chapter 2

To Get to Your Time

To Get to Your Time

Chrysolite Heart

After writing the short fic I got a quite a positive response from my reviewers and have been requested to continue this story. So, I have decided that I'm going to do my best and write another chapter for you all to enjoy. Thank-you so much to those who reviewed for me, you're all the best!!

Chapter 2

Sesshomaru was gliding away from the well in the way that only he could do. For yes, regular people could walk, but him? No, he was the almighty Lord Sesshomaru who refused to talk in third person, he could not _walk_! He snorted at the idea of _walking._

And then, as he was gliding away in the way only he could do, a thought struck him. He could not give up! No! This was preposterous! What does that word even mean? It doesn't matter. He could not give up, for his great father, InuTaeBo had once told him "Son, you must never give up because…it make you look _bad_," Lord Sesshomaru shivered at the thought. He could not afford to look bad; he didn't spend hours on his eye make-up every morning for nothing!

Lord Sesshomaru shook his head and looked up at the sky where his father was surely watching from hell. Oh wait, isn't that down below? Whatever. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and said: "Great father InuTaeBo, amen."

"Is Lord Sesshomaru praying?" a bewildered young voice questioned that came from behind the great Lord Sesshomaru.

"Shhh…do not interrupt!" the green toad-like thing in a brown kimono warned. What is that thing anyway? An imp? A frog? A toad? An alligator shrunk down to size wearing a brown kimono walking around on two legs with a staff? Probably.

Lord Sesshomaru took another deep breath. All the fan-girls swoon in the background at his amazing _breathing! _Because logically, breathing only becomes sexy when the InuYoukai with a big fluff on his shoulder that refuses to talk in third person does it.

Lord Sesshomaru wondered what he should do, and then he knew. Drum roll in the background… Jaken and Rin turned to stare at their lord…it was that time. They could feel it all throughout their bodies, even in their eyebrows! But I suppose this only applies to Rin, but nonetheless! Lord Sesshomaru had…AN IDEA! They could just hear the hallelujah chorus now.

Lord Sesshomaru smiled at his devious plan, his large furry boa smiled along with him. He knew how he would get to Kagome's time; he would kidnap her back to his lands and then force her to take him there! Because of course, when you want to get to someone else's time through a well you kidnap them and then take them to your castle across the country! It's perfectly explainable; any reasonably logical person would understand this.

He smiled, so now all he had to do was wait for her. But what would he do while waiting? Well he could always do something that would make all his fan-girls swoon again like…sweat. That's right, he could sweat. Because everyone thinks a guy is sexier when he's all sticky and smelly. But he was lazy and didn't want to. That was alright though; he could just get his stunt double to do it and while that was going; on he could re-apply his make-up. How smart I am! Lord Sesshomaru remarked at himself and set off with his plan…gliding all the way, of course.

"Say whatever happened to Lord Sesshomaru?" Miroku wondered aloud. Obviously Miroku would care because even though Lord Sesshomaru has nothing to do with them, he still is a _very _important topic.

"I don't know," Inuyasha grumbled in reply. _He's probably putting on his make-up at this very instant. Yes, Sesshomaru is an expert with make-up, the only thing he doesn't seem to understand is that it's for __**women**__. Dumb-ass. _

"When is Kagome going to get back?" Shippou questioned. But when he said going it was actually 'gonna', because only cute fox demon children like Shippou can say _'gonna'. _

"I don't know," the grumpy Inu-hanyou replied. That's Inu-han-you. Inu is dog and han-han_d _and _you_ like _yo-yo_. He was using the yo-yo in his hand to do the dog walk while he said this. Duh! Japanese – English translations are easy!

A/N: Did you like it? I changed my writing style a bit so it was more humorous, I hope you all enjoyed it! And if you did, my faithful readers, please review! Just an 'I like it' or 'This sucks' is good enough, though I prefer the first. And there will be more to come, so stick around!! Thank-you!! Oh and if you're enjoying my story and then I would suggest you read the story A Sad Lack of Consonants, that is the story that gave me this inspiration to continue writing, it's absolutely hilarious!


	3. Chapter 3

To Get To Your Time

To Get To Your Time

Chrysolite Heart

A/N: I'm really sorry for those of you who were waiting for my update. The problem with the stories of humor is the fact that you have to wait for the inspiration to hit you for your next chapter for it to really make people laugh. And you have to be in the right mood too. Currently, my mood is fine but I've had no real inspiration and yet feel bad for taking so long to update so I'm going to do what I can, and if it's really bad…then please, just give me a pity laugh, that would make me very happy. :)

Chapter 3

Kagome's POV

Well, I had to say, it had been a while since my encounter with Sesshomaru but I still had not entirely forgotten it yet. I still had some strange feeling about how things had went that day in the cave and was still afraid that something would happen now that I had leaked a bit of my secret to an outsider if you would call Sesshomaru that. Yes I had a feeling. A _bad feeling. _It was such a _bad _feeling that I could _feel _it even in my _feelers! _Err…ok let's pretend I didn't say that. Ignore, ignore, ignore! No but don't ignore me completely, I have a lot to say that I know you think is VERY important!

So anyway, I thought those feelings were bad enough but things got worse. Much worse. I met up with him when I was walking alone in the woods. Now don't ask me why I was walking alone in the woods like I'm not supposed to ok? I just WAS. And there he was. Standing there with his long silver hair flowing down his back so gracefully. I was soooo jealous. Why couldn't my hair be that long and silky? It wasn't fair! And then he turned when he heard me coming. Well, although I suppose he would've known I was around from miles away.

"It is you," Sesshomaru said when he turned to face me. I felt like ducking and hiding but I couldn't. Now don't get me wrong, there were tons of trees and bushes I could hide behind but something told me that running off after he had spoken and acknowledged me might not be the best idea…

"Umm…yes," I replied hesitantly. What else was I supposed to say? _Oh yes! Here I am Sesshomaru, were you looking for me? Do whatever you want with me, I'm so pleased you found me! So pleased I'd even let you eat me! _Cross that last line out. I wonder if dog demons eat humans…I'd have to find someone with this kind of knowledge to ask. I looked back at Sesshomaru.

"This Sesshomaru has questions for you," Sesshomaru told me coldly. So coldly I almost shivered. Or that could've been the breeze that passed by at that very moment. Did he control the wind? That would go on my list of questions as well.

"Uhh…alright…what questions?" I answered. I was stuttering. Why? It couldn't be because I was in front of a great dog demon who could easily rip me to shreds in less than a second without wasting a breath and was asking me questions, could it?

"This Sesshomaru wants to know about your time," Sesshomaru stated simply. I felt myself cheer a little bit. Not because of his request but because I had confirmed that I was officially physcic! I _knew_ that bad feeling meant _something_! I could feel Sesshomaru's gaze boring into me. Right, back to business. I could announce the good news to my friends later.

"Um…" I wasn't sure how to answer. How would you answer? Well I guess it doesn't matter how you would answer because it wouldn't help me now. "I don't know what you mean," I decided to play it dumb. Didn't you all hear about what a wonderful actor I am? I mean, actress. I played a _tree_ in the play of Beauty and the Beast in grade 5! Believe me, being a tree isn't as easy as it seems…

"Don't play dumb," Sesshomaru responded. Don't say it! I know what you're all thinking at this stage. It's not that I was a bad actor … actress, it's just that he saw through people to well. Not my fault.

"Uh…" I stopped to think. "Well…what do you mean?" I asked tentatively. Whoops, gotta start thinking again.

"This Sesshomaru is becoming annoyed," Sesshomaru told her, rolling his eyes. Have you ever seen a dog demon roll his eyes? It's kind of funny looking to say the least, just imagine Sesshomaru rolling his eyes all the way around in his head. You can only call that two things. Hilarious…or just down-right scary. Your pick.

"Right…um," In a flash Sesshomaru had her by the neck. Kagome squeaked. "Ok, what exactly do you want to know?" Where was Inuyasha? He supposed to show up at around this time to save her! He would get a good 'sit' for this later…

"Everything," Sesshomaru whispered menacingly. I nodded my head frantically and was put down. I guess this left me with no choice. I could either run, get caught and die. Lie, get caught and die. Or tell the truth, get caught and die…but in someone else's hands, not Sesshomaru's.

Well, running probably wasn't the best. I would either trip as I most often do or Sesshomaru would catch me which is a highly likely possibility.

If I lied…well the lies would just get worse and worse. And even though I'm a good actor, I'm not a good liar. And don't tell me I could _pretend _I'm telling the truth. These are two VERY separate matters here… Anyway, to say the least I would be discovered eventually and that probably wouldn't turn out so well…

I guess that only leaves option 3 and so with a sigh, I opened my mouth and began to speak.

A/N: I dunno…what'd you think? I don't think this one was as good as my last two chapters but I tried! I have something of an idea forming in my mind for the next chapter though so don't give up on me! And while you're waiting, please review! Sorry that this chapter was a little shorter than the others.


	4. Chapter 4

To Get to Your Time

Chrysolite Heart

Okay, so I would first off like to apologize for how long it took me to update. It wasn't on purpose … I think I'm just really starting to lose my inspiration. I'd also like to apologize in advance if this chapter isn't very funny, I'll do my best. I have no real idea for this chapter and so it's more of a 'go with the flow' chapter. Thank-you all SO MUCH for being patient and waiting, you guys are AWESOME!

Chapter 4

Kagome's POV

"WAIT!" Sesshomaru yelled loudly just as I was about to continue my biography about my time. I blinked.

"What for?" I asked him.

"You must not tell here." Sesshomaru whispered in my ear. It was weird actually … I got this strange tingly feeling when he did so. I think it might have been his boa thingy. I looked at him as if I was scared. Which I was. Kind of.

"Okay," I whispered back. Sesshomaru nodded his head approvingly and patted me on the head like I was a dog. I was tempted to ask for a biscuit (I was starting to feel a little hungry) … but then I guess he wouldn't know what that is anyway. Nevermind.

"This Sesshomaru must kidnap you back to his castle and _torment_ you into talking about your time," Sesshomaru told me with a happy grin. I'd almost call it cute, the way he looked so pleased with himself. And then it clicked what it was, exactly, that he had just said. I swallowed.

"T-torment?" I squeaked. "Well thank-you for the offer, but I'm really quite happy to tell you without the 'TELL OR BE TORMENTED … BWAHAHAHAHA' part." Sesshomaru turned to glare at me. I raised an eyebrow.

"This Sesshomaru does not 'bwahahaha'" Sesshomaru stated dully, flipping his hair over his shoulder. I once again could not help but feel so terribly jealous that this doggy-guy had nicer hair than I did. I mean … I used _conditioner_! Jeez… life is so unfair. I smiled gleefully.

"There's a first time for everything!" I tell him cheerfully. Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. I had to stifle a giggle… Sesshomaru looks very funny when he raises his eyebrow.

"That's a wise saying. Did you say that?" Sesshomaru questions me. I look around. What a stupid question. There's no one else around … if you ignore the camera man, the director, the extras …

"Yes, yes I did say that." I reply. Sesshomaru 'humphs'. Wow, I think. I don't even 'humph'.

"Back to business, this Sesshomaru must kidnap you in the most terrifying way as possible." Sesshomaru tells me calmly. "Except this Sesshomaru hasn't quite figured out how to do so yet." I stare at him like he's an idiot.

"You've got to be kidding. Just throw me into a garbage bag and you're good to go," I say. Sesshomaru smiles and claps his hands together giddily.

"This Sesshomaru thinks that's an excellent idea … what is this _garbage bag_ you speak of?" Sesshomaru questioned. I glare at him. Seriously? I always thought it was pretty self-explanatory.

"A bag where you put your garbage," I reply evenly.

"Ah," Sesshomaru says, nodding his head as if he understands. I know he doesn't. Sesshomaru turns to the director for a large sack. He kneels at my feet with the sack. "Get in." he says coolly. I look over at the director… did he REALLY want me to do this? The director grins and gives me thumbs up. I sigh and stepped into the bag, glancing at Sesshomaru.

"You forgot to say please."

A/N: And this is where I will end it. The next chapter hopefully will be funnier and will actually be at Sesshomaru's castle. Until then, I need you guys to R&R but I especially some funny 'torture methods' I can use in the next chapter.


End file.
